My good friend “B” called me on Saturday and asked me how long it took me before I started doing hubby's chores when we were dating and I replied her saying, I didn't start doing things for him until when I was sure the relationship was leading somewhere but I was quick to also mention that hubby didn't allow me do stuffs for him. He always said it was not my duty until I was married, so the things I did were because I just wanted to do them.
B told me how she and her boyfriend were having arguments because he expected her to do his dishes, cook and other stuffs for him.
I told her it was good she and her boo were having this discussion (actually it was an argument but then you have to choose your words carefully) because these are the kind of issues that cause major disagreements in marriage.
I went on to tell her that some men are very traditional and some ladies too don't mind slaving (pardon my word) for them. As a girlfriend, you should know what your boo likes and ask yourself if you can live with it in marriage, if not save your head now and vice versa. I encouraged her to talk about it some more with her boo.
By the way, my friend has lived in the States for a long while, so the way she thinks will or might be slightly different. I guess?
Thinking about it again, some men are just silly. I don't see why another person should clean your mess for you. You eat, and then you clean up after yourself. God didn't only give you hands to aid walking and play video games but to take care of yourselves by washing, farming aka getting a job. etc. A woman is a helpmate.
I’m not saying women shouldn’t do these things but it’s not cast in stone whose responsibility it is, so why can’t you do your things yourself or share the chores with your wife when you’re married.
Personally, I don't suffer male chauvinist gladly. I consider it laziness or wickedness of the highest order.
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Geneisis 2:18 (NIV)
I always look forward 2 read ur blog.weldone
ReplyDeleteBy d time d guy makes it her duty,I think She is in some mess if they ever get married.I think she should spell somethings out. Weldone!
ReplyDeleteSpell things out? Well, that probably explains somewhat y lolts of females here are single still. We want Americana mode while enjoying the 9ja traditional setting. Utter confusion.
ReplyDeleteI mean,a man works and devotes his entire time and resources to making his wife & their children comfortable (the traditional man does.) His wife has her role also and this includes what u may have called 'mess'.
I have nothing against a man working with his wife to keep d home clean. I believe men should. Especially where they are still a young family, maybe d man & wife alone. However, once they begin to have additions and other people begin to live with them, she should be d supervisor of these activities (except his underwears. If she's upto it, she washes it for him. If not, he does it himself. No digiddy!)
Now, I have everything against her working (that is the excuse for women today.) He should meet her needs. She should meet his. But where inevitable, she should not say bcos she works, she cannot do her bit. Am I a chauvinist bcos of this? Whatever!!
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ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment Blackmale. I'm smiling to myself and agreeing with what you have said. Hubby and I do the chores together, infact, he is exceptionally helpful. We are just two and we clean and clear the house together. Hubby evens helps with the dishes, food and laundry sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI dont think you're a chauvinist, you made a lot of good points, and I've been able identify from your comment that balance is key in every relationship. Unless, one person will feel cheated.
Many thanks again.x
Thank u, 9ja bride. 1st person, truly, to use d word I believe it is - balance. Thank u. Lol.
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